The decision is made, for me in some ways, by the sudden rise in workplace nursery prices. I can't say I feel sad about it though. This is after all what We believe is best for the girls, even if it is a little stressful economically, we are rich in may ways and very happy. I am not particularly going to miss my work when i do my last day some time early next year. As I have said before, in many ways it is an opportunity. So, the question is, why do I still feel so guilty about being a full time mother (do not use the term house wife, I am not one of those, I don't spend that much time in the house and am certainly not married to it) and not being economically active in society?
What is it about our society that tells me I am only valuable if I am contributing in the workplace? That makes me feel foolish if I think I will be able to get back into work if I take a break while the girls are very young. Why do I feel so irresponsible? Why, even though I know why I am not frantically looking for new work and am convinced this is the best thing for the girls, do I still feel guilty? Why do I feel like people think I am taking the easy option, when actually it is not that easy? I do go nuts sometimes. It is an active decision not a passive one. So many questions.
Someone once asked me if I felt undervalued as a nurse. My reply was 'no not really, but I do feel undervalued as a mother.' (not by Brian I hasten to add).
I really need to stop worrying about what other people think, and feeling this guilt. How do I do that? Pants to all societies dumb values, I'm going to do what I want to do. Whoever you are out there creating this dumb and upside down feeling that pervades around, stop it, now.
What is it about our society that tells me I am only valuable if I am contributing in the workplace? That makes me feel foolish if I think I will be able to get back into work if I take a break while the girls are very young. Why do I feel so irresponsible? Why, even though I know why I am not frantically looking for new work and am convinced this is the best thing for the girls, do I still feel guilty? Why do I feel like people think I am taking the easy option, when actually it is not that easy? I do go nuts sometimes. It is an active decision not a passive one. So many questions.
Someone once asked me if I felt undervalued as a nurse. My reply was 'no not really, but I do feel undervalued as a mother.' (not by Brian I hasten to add).
I really need to stop worrying about what other people think, and feeling this guilt. How do I do that? Pants to all societies dumb values, I'm going to do what I want to do. Whoever you are out there creating this dumb and upside down feeling that pervades around, stop it, now.
1 comment:
A very insightful blog. And I think anyone that reads it will fully understand why you are doing what you are doing AND why it is a good decision.
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